Rise To The Times

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Last winter we at LoveCry appeared in a documentary done by The Fifth Estate. It is scheduled to appear once again on July 2, 2005.
One of the first questions I was asked by Marie, the producer, was why people in the Non-Profit Companies in Toronto were shy regarding what they would say or do with our main stream media. Why they would not talk about the downfall, problems and abuse issues to the media.
Marie said that these people would actually almost cringe at the idea of even talking to them.
Questions regarding this fear continually came up during our work with these us all.
It seemed everywhere Marie tried to connect, people were polite but vague, not wanting to show themselves on film, just did not want to divulge any information at all.
LoveCry has been the only one to Step To the Plate and be truly honest regarding homeless and abuse issues. Everyone elese only talkes to the media when there is nothing to tell but ask for donations.I money truly what this is all about???
All of us at LoveCry watched and waited for these answers and from what we have seen and experienced they have more then good reason for these fears.

When We Relieve Abuse Issues
We Leave More Space To Love!
Angel Femia
Of LoveCry

Many of the people from the generation, who had mothers in Women’s Liberation Movement, are going through hell emotionally right about now. I have had more e-mails, phone calls and visits from friends and strangers, {between the ages of around 35 to 55} asking why their lives seem to be falling apart. They are talking of deep pain I remember very clearly as though I had just experienced it when in fact it is part of the pain that was left from my childhood abuse. I had not felt some of these particular pains in many moons as during therapy sessions, most of my personal more damaging issues were dealt with. I was blown away to find I had left this one behind, buried beneath a great deal more.

I asked the people who contacted me with these problems if they have flashes of issues from child hood and the answers I am getting are incredible to myself, as I was not aware that I had a huge issue within myself for that era of time in life, that had not been dealt with. Some of these people are seeing childhood issues of abuse but some are just remembering something that has not been laid out as a serious abuse, {Neglect is a fairly new to many as an abuse issue} very clearly as yet, but the abuse we had received would come under neglect and emotional abuses.

Back then, during the 60’s and 70’s people did not stop to think what effect this Liberation Movement would have on the children of the day. They had no idea that this change would be a step towards the beginning of the end for our family unit. Not to say that this movement did all the damage done, to the family unit, but it sure had a great impact on the situation as it worsened. You see the Liberation Movement took our mothers from their homes into the corporate world where a person’s soul, Love for their family, and personal life are the least cared about things in existence.

Story after story people have been coming to tears revealing how they truly became more saddened after their Mothers left the home to go into the work force, leaving them with responsibilities that no child should have to undertake and the hell it was to watch the fathers hearts break when they continually were left feeling that their wives and partners were slowly piece by piece disappearing. You see my mother was one of the Canadian Media for many years and little did I know that this experience, {listening to their stories}, would open up even more memories of my childhood for me to deal with.

Mom, Shirley Baker-Femia, got her first job, during the time of the Women’s Liberation Movement when she was hired by “The Oshawa Times News Paper” {early 1960’s}. I know that if my mother had been a Doctor or Lawyer this story would be told as painfully but changed according to what was happening within their corporate situation. I have heard many horrid nightmares from the children of the Mothers who held jobs in other types of corporations and they are just as sad, but my Mom worked for our Media.

Mom was very much into the Women’s Liberation Movement as well. She spent much of her time getting other women involved and in the end she made some real important changes with her friends such as: paid maternity leave, changes in the work place for women as well as wages for women and more. Mom quickly became the first ever Female Union President. She led a strike at The Oshawa Times for around one year. That was rough on all of us, but we were happy to help her with it as Shirley was great. Mom was at that time very honest, strong and super intelligent. Little did she know that personal honesty was not something that the media cared about or even respected. It has been more then evident to all of us that the corporate world only cares when it suits their purposes and most times are put into a position where it would be to their detriment not to.

Mom found herself defending a system that would later work to destroy any semblance of honour, love and family in her life. She truly believed that the corporate media world was honest and caring, as many of her time still do. Every day we see the people our parents and ourselves looked up to falling into despair for what they believed in, especially if they are one of the ones under personal attack by the very ones they trusted. Of course the stories are very much embellished with illusions covering the core of the situation. In most cases this core is the only honest piece to the story but no one sees that, as it is covered with such sensationalism that this core is almost impossible to see clearly if at all.

Mom had been brainwashed to believe that the media was telling the truth at all times {back then media was distributing stories and events that everyone believed to be 100% truth, they were held in high respect} and was working to help the common public learn and understand the information and knowledge they provided. She had no idea that the sensationalizing being done would mount up to destruction of the very things she had been teaching her kids to respect in life. Mom being the type of good person that she was took this seriously and did what they asked of her. She began to change in ways that shocked us all. Mom would get angry in a flash, suffered all the time from migraine headaches, gained some ulcers, began to lay blame for things that never even happened, yell in emotional upsets and treat us like we were just in her way.

When Mom took this job she was free minded, healthy and happy. Our mother was the best ever and loved more then anyone I have ever met. This all changed very quickly and harshly. Mom’s mind seemed to always be bothered with problems that truly had nothing to do with our family but no one could get her to realize that point. She became suspicious of everyone and everything. It seemed to all of us that she just stopped caring. There was nothing we could do and arguing just was a waist of time. My childhood ended right there, but I was happy to help mom.

We all tried to be patient with the situation. Dad would try to explain away Mom’s new personality and I would sing the customary songs to my younger brother, before bed in place of my Mother. I found that I had no choice but to take over the role of cook, cleaner and caretaker for the family by this point,{I was merely seven years old}. I had spent a great deal more time with Mom then the others and learned how to cook, and clean so it made sense that I should do these tasks in her absence. Chris and Sherrall, my sisters did help at times. Dad needed a shoulder to lean on so I also became that shoulder.

Dad’s heart was braking on a daily basis and our home was a continuous battle grown within six months. I would sit with Dad many times as he talked about the sadness inside of his guts with swelling tears falling form his eyes. He truly felt he had lost his wife and partner. I tried to be strong and it took all I had to hold back my tears listening to my Dad’s pain. You see I felt I had lost my Mother but dad needed me to be his sounding board so I kept this hell to myself until I laid my head down on my pillow and the streams of tears would burst out in the darkness of my room.

Mom became trapped in this system of lies. Being honest when she began, this took a harsh toll on my mother. She began to worry incessantly. This lead to stomach ulcers and migraine headaches. She felt guilty all the time and displayed it in fits of rage when anyone or anything got on her nerves. The longer this situation went on moms explosions became a great deal more frequent.

Mom’s eyes did not open at all for several years. One day I had been sent home from school. I was almost eleven years old. I had made French fries hundreds of times prior to this point but this day I blew it and set our kitchen on fire. I had mom’s work number at The Oshawa Times so I called her as soon as I saw the smoke. Mom went to her boss asking if she could take a few hours off to deal with this very serious problem. {Now, picture an eleven year old child at home, tending to a grease fire in the kitchen, all alone}. I was used to cooking but had never experienced a fire. In light of that her boss told her that if she left the office she would loose her job. Mom came home anyway and did loose her job.

Little did Mom’s boss know but Dad became the lucky one as he hired her to work with him and things got somewhat better. Things never got back to the way they had been as there was just too much hell in between but they simmered down some and saved their marriage.

The next time Mom had to see the real truth regarding the media is when Myself and many other Street People came forward to reveal our abuse issues and were shut down with the same sensationalism only in larger degrees, more lies and a great deal more devastating to our lives as people. Mom was both horrified and filled with laughter at the remarkable story Heather Bird from the Toronto Sun wrote about me quitting school in grade one and stealing a car at six years old, {my height was under three feet} in Scarborough when I lived in Whitby thirty miles east of the place the car was. She was even more taken back that Judy Steed actually would believe that a Toronto Sun reporter was a tax collector, checking out LoveCry’s books. This so called truth was on the front page of The Toronto Star in June of 1996. We at LoveCry called the tax department to find that this person never worked for the tax department but later we did find that he was a reporter for the Toronto Sun doing investigating reporting. By the way our taxes were in perfect order and I was able to show that to Mom as Mom knew they would be as she is the one who taught me how to do this particular job. It is always hard to realize that what you believed in has completely failed you and this realization truly hurt Mom and myself but the stories they conjured up were hilarious to hear when you knew the truth first hand.

Painful child hood abuse issues can come up at any point in our life. I had a house, farm, cattle, two cars, money in the bank and a complete family life before my abuse memories surfaced. In fact I aquired all of these things and this life while living out a very heavy drug addiction. I broke and ended up on the streets for over four years.

It makes no difference who you are, what you have, or whom is sharing your life, if you have childhood abuse issues they will some day surface and you will have to deal with them or loose it all. This is one of the main reasons we have so many adult street people.

For myself due to this experience I am working with my therapist doing the therapeutic work that it takes to deal with the pain of this wound properly. I am very glad I came upon this problem making it possible for me to heal it. It would be great if everyone with experiences similar would also face and deal with their own issues but I am saddened to see just how many people are in denial regarding these things.

Be aware that:
1. Many times our issues of abuse that we are completely unaware of pop up out of what seems to be nowhere.
2. The less painful wounds we hold inside, the better our lives will be.
3. When we relieve abuse issues we leave more space to love.
Love and Blessings

Mom, Shirley Baker-Femia Passed to the Universe February, 2001. Her contribution to this country and women everywhere should be carried on and appreciated always, as the price she paid was enormous, but well worth it if we carry it forward, change more and become better as people.

We are in Support of Stopping Child Abuse
Please Check out the links below and if you can Please Donate to the cause:


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Send Donations to:
LoveCry The Street Kids Org.,
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M4M 2E4
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Web Master: Angel
Majic Angel Spiritual Life Coach